25th May 2024

The X Files

I used to live in perpetual fear of being voted “the weakest link.”
As such, I still cling to some of my former survival strategies to save myself the “walk of shame,” as I dread the prospect of a line being drawn through my name as opposed to under it – to be crossed out, obliterated!

A particular tried and tested “bacon saver” of recurring regularity is what I call “tickboxing,” but has more in common with “kickboxing” than merely affirmatively checking an empty square.

The sport of kickboxing is a full-contact hybrid martial art and boxing type based on punching and kicking, originating in the 1950s to 1970s.

Whereas, tickboxing is the non-violent art, (originating between 5 and 10 years ago), of passing an online test with full marks in the shortest possible time by rapidly clicking the “next” button and Googling the answers at the end!

The same level of strategy and skill is required for both art forms, with the goal being to kick the living shit out of whatever foe is put before you!
In this way, I can sign off on these so-called “tests” without the added aggro of being shamed because I’ve not reached the standard!

So this quasi self-study kung fu has saved me many tears and wasted hours in outwitting automated training packages written by sadistic coders with a modicum of knowledge related to the subject matter.

You see, being told that I’ve made a mistake is one thing, but having something returned with a big “Family Fortunes’” X (complete with sound effects), just reminds me of being back in school and having to mark each others work (probably to save the teachers some!)

But in our “blame” society, it seems that life is more about ticking banal boxes and reprimanding the “have nots!”
(Taking away the first letter of “banal” surely typifies this!)

Even modern day AI (Artificial Intelligence, as opposed to Al Pacino) has it in for me – you know that box with a cross in the center when using digital formats whereby the “computer says no” because it does not support the character that was inputted! You’re designed to make my life easier, so bloody well SUPPORT ME!

Typically, an X is used to indicate “a negative response,” as well as an “indicator,” for example, in election ballot papers.

With a General Election set for July 4th of this year, there is some hope ahead for the residents of the UK, and contrary to the negative perception associated with the letter X, there is a significant resilience in the usage displayed by the letter’s placement.
As such, maybe the election will become our “Independence Day!”

The letter, X, is also considered to be somewhat of a “randy” insignia for several reasons:

1. It’s the symbol of ‘multiplicity’ (as in “go forth and multiply”);

2. The Roman numerical symbol for (a Perfect) 10; and;

3. X is traditionally used on maps to indicate locations, most famously on “Ye Olde” treasure maps to show the location of a certain spot or hidden treasure (and everyone loves a sailor, apparently!)

To my mind, the notion of treasure maps marking the exact location of buried treasure is tantamount to engraving your PIN on the actual card!
This probably came about due to sailors not being literate and an X negating the need for written directions.

In a similar vein, for a person who is unable to write their signature – for instance, if they’d been in the unfortunate position of having slipped whilst running with scissors, severing the nerve that controls writing – in order to be legally valid, an alternative ‘X-mark signature’ must be witnessed by another.
This is fine in principle, as long as the witness isn’t similarly inconvenienced – I mean, where would it end!

Fortunately for others, like me, who struggle with nihilistic tendencies, the last two decades of popular culture promoting the acceptance of people who use their gifts to protect a world that hates and fears them, has meant we are not forced to face a dangerous and unpredictable future alone.
So, thank you to all you X-Men out there, and by this I am of course using the gender neutral term!

The evolution of this unique grapheme, interger, and general protector of secrets can be further explored through The X-Files – the 1998 American science fiction thriller series and films created by Chris Carter.
This revolves around fictional unsolved cases called the  X-Files and the characters solving them.

The first film takes place between the end of season  five – the episode aptly named, “The End” –  and the beginning of season six – the episode named – you guessed it – “The Beginning!”
In the film, agents Mulder and Scully uncover what appears to be a government conspiracy attempting to hide the truth about an alien colonization of Earth.
(Could this civilization be the mysterious X-Force?)

Its sequel, titled I Want to Believe, was released ten years later, which, unlike its forerunner, the plot does not focus on E.T. and his mates, but is instead a standalone thriller-horror story focusing on Mulder and Scully’s respective states of isolation from society, having been allied with similar nilhism.

As such, the sequel remained in Purgatory for six long years before being premiered on July 23, 2008, at  Grauman’s Chinese Theatre  in Hollywood (yes, the one which premiered Star Wars).

The basic desire in all of us to “want to believe” in something bigger that ourselves is what separates us from the scepticism of our tangible world.
For me, it is the thinnest of thin lines that enables me to be “present and correct.”

With only 7 months left to the “Big Day,” my attention now is split between my posting and yours – or at least your little ones – hence my more sporadic meanderings of late.
Hopefully, I’ve been able to make some difference in the intervening days of my current secondment – at least the demand for coal is being negated, if nothing else!

Nicholas Saint (also abbreviated, Nic St.)

22/5: WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
“Quentin Hapsburg:
Que sera sera… You do speak French, don’t you?

Lt. Frank Drebin:
Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.
(“The Naked Gun 2.5”)

25/5: WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
“You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it’s called F*** You. It’s mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they’re on the ground.”